This post is way overdue but the
stars aligned yesterday to remind me. After
reading The Power of Habit by Charles
Duhigg, I was quite inspired to re-think some of my own habits—as well my
children’s (I’ll leave my spouse of things for now J). One of Duhigg's lengthier reflections is on how Target managed to make inroads among pregnant customers. Apparently, new parents are a very
interesting group to retailers because they much more open to changing their
habits than your average consumer, since their lives have just been totally
disrupted (since this is a Mom Blog I feel no need to explain why!)
Anyway, a couple of days ago,
Duhigg was on our local NPR station, talking about habits with Dr. Dan Gottlieb and Michael Bain of UPenn on “Voices in the
Family”. Part of the discussion centered about how habits evolve. Duhigg’s operating definition of a habit is
something we initially do consciously and deliberately and which, after a
certain point, we do something routinely and automatically without thinking—Duhigg’s
go-to example is backing our car out of our driveway. Initially it requires a
lot of attention and focus but after a while it becomes second nature. Our
brain makes a neural pathway and when it sees its cue, its starts to go in the
direction of habit. What once took a while to figure out becomes a mental short
cut.
Why
do we do these things? Apparently, we do
them mostly for the “dopamine hit” that we get from them. This is easy to
see in cases like junk food, drugs, and alcohol—the pleasure center in our
brain gets activated and so we reach for the Ben and Jerry’s, even though we
know it’s the 4th time in a row. But food isn’t the only thing that gives that “hit”—it seems like even
backing out of our driveway gives a psychic satisfaction that we crave on some
level. The key to unlocking and working
with our habits is to identify the cue, the routine, and, especially, the
reward. What is it that I get out of habit x that I crave? If I can find a
better way of getting that reward, I can change the habit. The goal, then, is
to figure out the two ends of the habit loop: the cue and the reward. To break a routine, I need to a) identify
the routine b) experiment with rewards c) isolate the cue (the standard five
are location, time, emotional state, other people, and immediate preceding
action) and d) [drum roll] have a plan.
The mystery to me is how to use
this to my benefit. While I have bad habits like anybody, what bothers me most (and those around me) are all the habits I don’t
have. Like screwing the tops all the way back on lids (don’t ask) …or
turning the lights out before I go to sleep…or…I think I’ll stop here lest I
betray too many embarrassing weaknesses…. If I can just find a way to a reward
for doing those things I’ll be all set.
