Eat that? Non, non, et NON!
While recent parenting articles and blogs have extensively documented
the advantages of continental children in regards to their eating habits, our European
correspondent was recently able to validate concerns that their adult
counterparts are not as reliable. While on vacation with his family in his wife’s
native country, Didier P* brought along a week’s supply of chicken thighs, rice,
and produce. During their stay in Eastern Europe, he refused to eat any of the
native food. Speaking in a combination of broken English and his native dialect,
Didier explained, [local expletives deleted] “Who know what they put in zee
food? I prefer not take risks—so I bring wif me.” His wife and sister in law
confirmed that he paid little to no regard to standard European conventions of
hospitality. “He refused to eat any of the food people cooked for him,” his
wife confirmed, “Back at home, he eats a pretty wide variety of things, but he
was very suspicious of the food here and would not even try anything that was
offered to him. His behavior was very alienating to my grandmother and other
family that he was meeting for the first time. But there was really nothing I
could do. He’s a grown man—you know?”
Many people have suggested that Didier might benefit from a return to
the womb and a short stay in Paris where, presumably, the purer version of
French culinary upbringing is practiced in the hope that he might (re) learn to
eat everything the way that French children do.
*Based on a true story. The man’s name has been changed to
protect his family from embarrassment and him from excessive numbers of
American parents who might try to seek validation by trying to friend him on Facebook.
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