My oldest daughter has her own room. My husband (who, as the
third child, is more comfortable allotting privileges to his eldest daughter than
his oldest-child wife is) decided this about a year ago and so far, so good. It
gives her a sense of independence and ownership that is a good thing. The
downside is that she can be downright possessive and nasty regarding her
personal space (a bit trying in a child who still barges into adult rooms’
unannounced and leaves her things lying around regularly). If an errant sibling finds his way into her
room and, say, decides to jump on her bed, the Wrath will be swiftly inflicted
upon him (or, more likely, her).
What to do? I’ve tried my usual punishing, cajoling, “try to
put yourself in his shoes” discussions…Plus threats to take away the bedroom.
(But of course, that would be a big hassle for me, too.)
So—burst of insight—I am trying a new technique. I have
instituted the “Open House.” I asked my eldest to make invitations to her siblings inviting them to her room. During one hour, on Sundays, said daughter
invites her siblings into her room. She provides refreshments for them (usually
not allowed in carpeted personal spaces in our home) and allows them to be
comfortable in her space, inviting them to recline on her bed and peruse her books if they like (!!!). The thinking behind this is that if she learns (even
for just an hour a week) to welcome her sisters and brother into her room, that
some of those good vibration will rub off on them and that she’ll also get more
comfortable welcoming them than banning them from the premises.
The verdict is still out on the success of this technique
but I’m hopeful. The first one went off well, and all seemed to enjoy it...I'm hoping it's a sign of good things to come.Will the polar ice cap truly melt or is this just a temporary warming? To be continued!
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